I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
