Just fell off a train. Bad.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
