my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
