I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize
