So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
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