I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
