I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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