How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
