Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
