I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
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