The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
