So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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