i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
