GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Never let your siblings swipe right.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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