New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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