i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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