using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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