Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize