Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize