i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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