he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
