brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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