I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
