i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
