return my video game
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
