We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
