she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize