there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
