people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
