Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I didn't notice because vodka
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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