I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
