I wannas sexs uuuuu
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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