I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
