I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
