Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
