I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Randomize