I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
