Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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