I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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