I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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