I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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