She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
