Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
