I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just a social blackout drinker.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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