i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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