i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
