i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
