we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize