I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
honey bunches of taint.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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