I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
