Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
and she was petting her beer can
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
i need some magic done to my vagina
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
