I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
