After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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