"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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