hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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