so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
