HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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