watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
