Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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