How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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