Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
