Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I want to make a zoo with you.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
