THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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