There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
the liver wants what the liver wants
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize