He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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