when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
