What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
